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Bennett and Benedetto may make for a particularly striking example (“Lovely fetus you’ve got there, ma’am, here’s my number, have it call it me in 18 years or so”), but older men getting romantically involved with younger women is hardly a rare phenomenon.Every day, there seems to be another outrageous new celebrity coupling announced via pictures of some May-December frolicking: Jennifer Lawrence sharing a lollipop with Darren Aronofsky; Sean Penn dating Vincent D’Onofrio’s daughter; Mel Gibson having his ninth child with his 26-year-old girlfriend; Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen double-dating with their 47-year-old and 58-year-old respective beaus; Leonardo Di Caprio’s sending another lady-love packing upon her reaching the ripe old age of 25.I know, I know: Why care that two consenting adults are canoodling when a demagogue is about to take the White House?(Donald Trump, for the record, is 24 years older than his wife Melania, and each time he’s gotten married, it’s been to a younger woman. You use it as a reason to blow them off, pare back your options, and fuel embittered stories about how It’s So Hard to Meet Good Men. One of my most popular posts to date is 7 Reasons Why You Should Want to Date an Older Woman. ” followed by a high five, which is kind of odd when you think about it. As I approached my mid 30s, I wondered if this meant I was now a bona fide cougar. The term conjures an image of a hungry, embattled woman with heavily coiffed hair, mummified in makeup, squeezed into a bedazzled top and looking to “score” a young man. The problem is, you think that person has to be older than you. Just as chronological age doesn’t always “cure” one of immaturity, a man can be all of these things and still be 24, 28, 30 (depending on what you consider young). You’ve told yourself you don’t really want a younger man. Regardless of how sexually permissive and progressive we think we are, there’s still a bit of eyebrow raising when a woman dates younger. And when I tell people that (if they ask or if it comes up), I either get a lilting “Reaalllly” or a “You go girl!” Let’s revise that to add that if someone wants you to be the May to their December or vice versa, don’t let ‘em.In the end, this is no time to be a traitor to your generation.
Maybe Tony Bennett and Susan Benedetto are genuinely the greatest love story of our time.
For most of us, in dating those things kind of go out the window, but then people tend to pair off with partners at about the same attractiveness level that they occupy. The pretense of finding someone who can be a partner and equal disappears; women both young and old get to see that all that really matters is how you look in a bikini.
Meanwhile, women also watch their romantic options shrink as they age—a similar amount of money or power on their part usually doesn’t bring all the boys to the yard in quite the same way.
Here are the reasons you wave off the idea of dating young: (aimless, noncommittal, out just for sex). But it didn’t seem to fit my reasons for dating younger, nor is it an accurate or flattering explanation of why younger men are worth dating.
But that’s not a power position, and it does you no favors. Beware of wielding stereotypes; they’re cheap shortcuts masquerading as wisdom, and if you use them, prepare to be judged by them. You would only applaud someone if she succeeded in doing something impossible or crazy, or if she got away with something she shouldn’t have. The cougar image is cartoonish at best, derived either from a culture fearful of a sexually empowered woman, or from the woman herself, who claims cougardom as a way to boost her self esteem via sex with a man many years her junior.